


Love Unlimited

by Marriage1988



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:51:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8562772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marriage1988/pseuds/Marriage1988
Summary: Even the most thoroughly prepared man can be taken by surprise when love arrives at last.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Desert_Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desert_Sea/gifts).



_A/N: Inspired and encouraged by my dear friend & partner in crime, the incomparable Desert-Sea....my first one-shot is for you. _

* * *

 

Throughout his life, Severus Snape believed in the philosophy of comprehensive and exhaustive preparation….in all things.

As a Hogwarts’ student, he worked diligently in his studies to achieve the highest scores on both NEWTS and OWLS ever documented at Hogwarts. _A record still unbroken to this day, mind._

As a professor attempting to educate countless hordes of inept dunderheads, he was able to navigate the little cretins through the dangerous labyrinth (and subtle science and exact art, _imbeciles_ ) of potion making—WITHOUT. EVER. LOSING. ONE. STUDENT. Yes, he could attribute _that_ to his incomparable preparation skills.

(Note to self: Never did receive that heartfelt “Thank You” letter from Longbottom....hmm. _Ingrate_.)

As an Order member and Agent for the Light, he had to anticipate each strategic turn made by Voldemort and his minions. And, only the most meticulous preparation of arming himself with powerful anti-venom remedies had reprieved him from certain death by Nagini. _No, that was not simply luck, my friends._

Preparation.

And so, of course he would approach an evening of romance utilizing those same painstakingly detailed planning skills which were applied to All. Things. Snape.

He glanced in the mirror for the third time in the last fifteen minutes.

Beautifully tailored charcoal gray trousers and matching silk shirt opened at the neck _just so_. _Check._

Hair neatly brushed. _Check._

Appropriate amount of cologne applied. _Check._

Assorted hors d'oeuvres on the coffee table for nibbling throughout evening. _Check._

A chilled bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal Brut. _Pretentious swill, but what the hell. Check._

Mood lighting emitting a warm glow about the room. _Check._

 _Mood._ Hmm. Music. That final piece.

Snape strolled into his neatly decorated parlour where a wall of oak shelves held a rather extensive music collection accumulated through the years. He began to thumb through some of his CDs and chuckled when he found one that would be most appropriate.

"...Ah," he murmured, "just the one I was looking for. The incomparable Mr White and his Love Unlimited Orchestra.....yes, indeed. This is precisely the right ingredient which will _lu...bri...cate_ the ambiance."

As Snape's eyes scanned the disk’s contents, unconsciously he started to hum "You're the First, the Last, My Everything", catching himself and smiling. It amused him that so few knew this side of the former buttoned-up academic. No, his past students and even most of his fellow staff members at Hogwarts (other than Minerva who saw right through him. _Nag_.) would never have guessed in their most vivid imaginings that Severus Snape was a closet sensualist. And a man who adored women. Well... _one woman_ …..

* * *

It had been many years since the end of Voldemort’s _Reign of Complete Shite_. It had taken Snape a while to readjust his life around a period of peace and calm….no spying, no insane Dumbledore demands, no endless nights in the dank dungeons, trying to anticipate the next move. Always the next fucking move. Like a battered pawn on a chess board, Severus increasingly felt the crushing weight of his dual role.

It took years for him to exorcise those snake-faced demons. And the nightmares which tormented him. Finally, he began to recognize that life needn’t be a daily crucifixion. Life, instead… particularly his life….could be an enjoyable and light-filled journey.

It was an epiphany. Took years, but he finally arrived at that wondrous conclusion. _Fifty fucking points to Slytherin._

Now In his fifties, he recalled the years when he had courted a variety of ladies.

At first, in those early post-war days, he sought beauty. Perhaps due to two decades in the presence of ugliness and cruelty at Death Eater revels, it was natural to desire such unblemished exquisiteness. He dated only women with perfectly sculpted faces and figures to match. Innately, he knew this was dreadfully shallow and vain, but having a stunning French lingerie model on his arm at Ministry functions did turn many heads with envy. ( _Yes, Potter. Wish in one hand and crap in the other. See which one fills up first._ )

And for someone who had been socially inept and unpopular at school, this kind of flattering attention now was—dare he admit it— _fun._

(He was still trying to sort out who this “Victoria” was and uncover her so-called “secret”…the lingerie model never did disclose those details. _Bitch_.)

Then the novelty of it all wore off. Beautiful women, he learned, came with too much damned baggage. And were always late. And applied an inordinate amount of hair-gel and eye liner. Minerva had mentioned something about them needing “extensive conservation” or some such words.

Soon friends and acquaintances began to act as match-makers. Knowing he was now open to a relationship (Get over yourselves. I am male; I come with a cock. _Idiots_.), it seemed everyone had a cousin/sister/aunt/former schoolmate who was “just right” for Snape.

“Oh, Severus,” Molly Weasley had gushed, “you are going to just LOVE Arthur’s cousin, Lena. She’s another Weasley through and through….and she was first in her class in Charms…...”

He had stopped listening a second after the vomit-inducing “another Weasley” endorsement. Severus’ gut told him to seek immediate self-incarceration in Azkaban rather than date the cousin. But, for politeness sake, and because of Molly’s past kindness to him, he submitted.

_What a fucking disaster of Grawp-ic proportions._

Of course, she was a ginger….what else could he expect _that_ family to harvest. But it was her repeated remarks about Lily Potter which grated on his nerves. Evidently, “the Great Charms’ Scholar” had memorized his bio (“Yes. I am well-endowed. Now kindly fuck off.”) and was trying to monopolize his past attraction to Lily in order to further her own relationship agenda.

“You know, Sev…” Lena intoned in her nasally voice, “…I was so relieved to read about your friendship with Lily Potter. I have so much in common with her, you know. We’re both red headed, female, and our first names start with L….”

“Yes,” Severus seethed, “ _practically twins_.”

It took a few of these so-called “blind dates” (“I _prayed_ for blindness,” he had told a disappointed Hooch, “after meeting your friend, Martha the Medusa….”) and the match-making finally ceased.

Severus was back on the dating scene, on his own devices, and soon realized he was impatiently searching for something different. Something much more... _substantial._ _But what?_

* * *

It was on a chilly, drenching day in Muggle London when he stumbled onto his answer.

He was scanning through the bins at Hobgoblin Music on Rathbone Place, having nothing particular to do that afternoon. The name of the store had attracted Snape. _Perhaps the proprietor was a wizard._

The 70’s CD section featured music from his era—and thus had caught his attention. Having been raised in a Muggle town, he had many memories of hearing tracks from his neighbor’s home on warm summer evenings when he was on school break.

That was when he was first introduced to the smooth _basso profondo_ of Mr Barry White accompanied by the Love Unlimited Orchestra.

White’s music was sublime, passionate, and overtly _sexual_. He had never heard any man croon about women like Mr White. Even all these years later, Severus smiled at the recollection.

As he returned the CD to the bin, he felt someone nudge him.

 _And there she was_. Damp chestnut hair carelessly tied back, waves and curls all askew, wearing a dreadful pink raincoat.

Hermione “my-hand-is-in-the-air-again” Granger.

_Le Insufferable One._

Granger seemed as stunned to see him there as he was seeing her, “Oh! Professor….how are you? I haven’t seen you in years…..” her voice, now a bit deeper, perhaps huskier. Maybe a touch more…. _sexy_?

Yes, it _had_ been years. He quickly did the math in his head. If I am 55, then she’s around 35, 36? _Could that be so_?

No longer the little imp with her head perpetually buried in a book, Granger had grown up…and filled out. _Nicely_ , it seemed. Indeed. _Quite nicely_. She was not beautiful in the conventional sense….no, not like the plastic models he had dated. Nor was she quirky like the blind dates from Hell he had endured. She was just…

_Utterly lovely._

Snape felt like his stomach had dropped through the floor. He actually felt _dizzy_ , for fuck’s sake. _What the hell was that?_ A heart attack? Stroke? What??? It took a moment to refocus.

“Are you….alright, Professor?” Granger murmured, concerned. She grabbed his arm.

He came back to himself, “…Ah, yes, Miss Granger. I am…fine. Just getting over a bit of a virus, it seems…”

(Well done, Severus. A virus. _Are you twelve?_ )

“Well, I hope you feel better soon, “she said, “…You are looking quite well otherwise. The last time I think we saw one another was at that Christmas ministry party….you brought a date, I remember….”

( _Ah yes, Patrice the polymerized mannequin from Marseilles_.)

Snape’s eyebrow raised, “Oh? I don’t recall seeing you that evening, Miss Granger….”

“ _Hermione._ You can call me that now,” she blushed…. _like the most alluring rose petal_ , he noted, “...and as for that night, I had come alone. And I hid in the corner most of the evening….”

“I see,” _although he didn't_ , “well, perhaps we can continue this conversation over tea or coffee?”

Those lovely brown eyes opened wide, “Oh! Yes, of course. I have time if you do, Professor….”

He gently touched her small hand, “It’s _Severus_ ….please...”

And that, as they say, _was that_.

* * *

It took a little over a month from the time they saw each other at the music store (38 days, 7 hours and 16 minutes, if you must know. _Morons_.) for Severus to move beyond a chaste goodnight kiss to practically tossing Hermione onto his couch and wrapping himself around her petite body. That was the same night he had confessed that he adored her, and was fully committed to an exclusive relationship.

(Translation: All past, current and future suitors will be immediately terminated. She's fucking _mine_ now. _Peace out_.)

Hermione was strangely perplexed. Which confused Severus.

_A lot._

“I thought you’d want this, Hermione…” _oh no, she noticed the scowl_ , “Have I misread your feelings about us?”

She practically leapt off the couch. “ _No_! No! Not misreading, Severus. Please! I do want this, more than anything….it’s just that….well, I remember some of the women you had been with before, and I don’t have that….I mean, I don’t think I…..” She plopped back on the couch. Defeated. _Not saying this right._

“Ah, I think I understand….” He stroked her cheek gently, “Those other women……anyone I had dated before you, there was no love there. Nothing. Even Lily and I….we never truly cared for each other in a romantic way….” (Hadn’t she read the bio? It was right there in chapter six, “ _Have Cock, Will Travel_ ”— that's all he was about then. _Foolish girl_.)

He couldn’t tell from her expression what she was thinking. Was he not convincing her enough? She was IT. She was _The One_ , for fuck’s sake.

She was the Gilly to his Weed.

The Poly to his Juice.

The Bane to his Wolf…. _oh bloody hell, that’s just puerile._

There would be no one else for him as long as he was able to draw a breath in this damned world.

Severus rose from the couch and beheld her ( _My God, she is so fucking delectable_ ). He softly smiled. Or slightly smirked…. _Hermione still couldn’t tell which was which yet._ He walked over to the CD player and after making a few adjustments, pressed PLAY….

As the song’s intro began to drift through the speakers, he knelt down before her, taking her hands, “I want you to listen to these words, Hermione. Do you remember at the music store? The day we met….I was holding this CD in my hand. Later on, I purchased it because…well, it reminds me of you. _Now listen_ ….”

 _...My first, my last, my everything_  
_And the answer to all my dreams_  
_You’re my sun, my moon, my guiding star_  
_My kind of wonderful, that's what you are…_

* * *

 

The wedding took place at Gretna Green around three weeks later. (19 days, 6 hours and 12 minutes, if you must know. _Idiots_.)

And now, exactly one year to the date, Severus was checking his list. _Being prepared for such a significant milestone in their marriage was quite important, mind._

He briefly surveyed the room one last time. _She’ll be walking in the door any moment now._

First thing she’ll see will be the long stemmed Traviata roses. _She loves those._

And there on the table, her favorite dessert, the Chocolate Waterfall cake, a smaller version of the one from the wedding.

He was as prepared as he could be. Undeniably. Absolutely. And…. _most contentedly._

Yes, it had taken him almost fifty five years. But it _had_ happened. He had found that elusive thing which so many never discover. _Quite tragic, that._ He acknowledged, with authentic humility and gratitude, the abundant gift he had been given in the Autumn of his days.

The door blew open, disrupting his maudlin thoughts.

 _And there she was_ …..his love, his life. _His everything._

“Oh, Severus….” She whispered, running into his arms.

Yes, this was his life now.  _Love unlimited._

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to the amazing Barry White and the Love Unlimited Orchestra perform Hermione and Severus’ special song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zfxZRBm3EY  
> Check out the real music shop in London on Rathbone Place where they met: https://www.hobgoblin.com/shops/london/  
> The Snapes’ wedding cake, the Chocolate Waterfall with roses (Replicated for Wizarding weddings by our own SouthernBelle):  
> http://www.cakecentral.com/gallery/i/1433731/chocolate-rose-wedding-cake  
> A photo from the anniversary celebration as it continued later on that evening: http://s1264.photobucket.com/user/poisonmaster1/media/Severus%20and%20Hermione/950472313.jpg.html?sort=6&o=359


End file.
